If I Had a Robotic Best Friend

walk_with_me_my_friend_by_abrider3-d3ghm7u

Walk With Me My Friend, by abrider3.

WANTED

Robot with ‘spark’ for friendship, adventures and story telling.

MUST BE: in possession of personality programming, free will subroutines, made from robust materials and non murderous.

NO HUMANS IN COSTUME PLEASE

If I had a robotic best friend, we’d have lots of adventures and live in a windmill. It would hit on my washing machine and respond to sarcasm with electric shocks. It would teach me how to walk on my hands and not worry so much about other humans. I’d help it replace rusted parts and tell it all the stories in my head. Whenever I got tired it would send me to bed and watch old sci-fi films on TV.

We’d travel throughout Europe and tell each other jokes in binary. At night we would stargaze and it would tell me all about the constellations and explain just how big space actually is. It would help me build a rocket ship out of cardboard boxes.

In the evening when I tried to cook, it would put out the fire in the kitchen. It would let me know the moment my tea was the perfect temperature to drink.

It would be nice to my cat even when it scratched at the gears on its ankles. We would make money reprogramming websites so they wouldn’t spy on people.  Whenever I got sick it would put Button Moon episodes on repeat and make sure I drank clear fluids, but it would draw the line at staying if I vomited.

And when I got old it would help me down the stairs and read to me when my eyes got bad enough that I couldn’t do it myself anymore.

4 thoughts on “If I Had a Robotic Best Friend

  1. My robotic best friend would double as an aquatic vehicle so we can go island-hopping and run from volcanoes and natives and find buried treasure.

    He would also love slapstick comedy as I would accidentally program it into him by leaving a Stooges’ marathon on for twelve hours straight while configuring his aural receptors. Whoopwhoopwhoop and nyuknyuk would be his favorite words, and he would secretly adore Shemp.

    Like

  2. Pingback: A Windmill on the Moon | The Robotic Hermit

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